Alcoholism is a gripping addiction that has severe consequences on a person’s life. It is capable of ruining jobs, reputations, health and livelihoods. Life with an alcoholic is not easy for anyone. Despite knowing that alcoholism is not a person’s fault, expecting them to take responsibility for it can be a long bumpy road, that does not necessarily end happily all the time. Those who have lived with an alcoholic know how trying it is and how desperate it can make a person feel. A few of the common problems of living with an alcoholic include:

Frequent alcohol consumption causes mood instability, especially in people who have a mood disorder, mental disorder or personality disorder, which many alcoholics have. This may range from crying and irritability all the way to physical violence. Obviously, this has tremendous negative influences on the person’s mental health who lives with the alcoholic.

Alcoholics want to escape completely into their addiction, which drinking enables them to do. As a result, alcoholics become largely unavailable to their relationships and responsibilities. People cannot be functional and participate in escapism at the same time. This leaves too heavy a burden on the person living with the alcoholic to be responsible in their place.

Alcohol costs money. In fact, alcoholism is a very expensive habit. A majority of alcoholics end up with financial issues because they will invest financially into their addiction at all costs. This is obviously a strain on the person they are living with because they are forced to compensate for the alcoholics financial inadequacies.

It is only a matter of time before an alcoholic will develop health issues. Excessive alcohol is toxic to a person’s system and extended saturation in alcohol will make a body under perform and become diseased. Minor health problems caused by alcoholism included weight gain, lethargy, insulin problems and digestion issues. Major health problems caused by alcoholism include diabetes, cirrhosis of the liver and heart attack.

It is impossible to love an alcoholic correctly by enabling. If anything a person does for an alcoholic that gives them an opportunity to drink, they are enabling. Enabling harms an alcoholic, takes away their self esteem and keeps them dependent on their enabler. It is a very unhealthy cycle to be stuck in, for both parties. An alcoholic will never grow out of their alcoholism so long as they choose to remain dependent on their enabler. Someone has to break the cycle, and typically it has to be the enabler as they are the one who is not in the grasp of addiction.

Being firm on this point is difficult, as the alcoholic will try a number of tactics to get their enabler to comply with their desires, such as guilt trips, tears, anger, threats and more. Plus, there is often a genuine loving bond between an alcoholic and their enabler. Enabling someone does not mean you do not love them, it simply means you are not doing a good job of loving them.

Anyone who cares about an alcoholic knows there is nothing you want more for them than to stop drinking and feel whole. Unfortunately, it is not as easy as all that. Helping someone let go of alcohol is a very delicate process with no guaranteed outcome. A person can invest an incredible amount of love, time and energy into trying to help someone stop drinking, and it may not have any effect. This leaves the supporter devastated, angry and dejected. The question is, how do you support an alcoholic in a healthy way, without enabling, chastising or stigmatizing their addiction?

The answer is one that takes some careful consideration, even though it is fairly straightforward. Logically, it makes perfect sense, but applying it to your personal situation can present challenges. The key to supporting an alcoholic in a healthy manner is by offering to support them through recovery but refusing to take part in their addiction with them. This philosophy, when applied, will influence an addict in a positive direction ultimately, even if their initial reaction to it is one of anger.